This post is somewhat depressing; I’ll warn you upfront.  I actually wasn’t going to say anything, but writing has always helped me get things off my chest and make me feel better about things, so I decided to go ahead and do it anyway.

There is a piece of writing out there by an unknown author.  I’ve come across it several times, and it looks like something you’d see plastered across a Hallmark card.  I’m beginning to realize more and more, though, that its words ring true.

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

I’ve never really had what one would describe as “a lot” of friends. For some people, interaction with others comes naturally.  There are some who have always had a reputation for being “the popular one.”  For these people, social interaction is a way of life.  They generally display an air of confidence, and have no problems cultivating friendships wherever they go.  These people never spend a Friday night alone, and always have something going on.

I am not this type of person.  I’ve always been fairly shy, and have always kept to myself.  I’ve also never had a lot of self-confidence in the social realm, so making friends is not something I do easily.  I have no problems getting along with others, having conversations, and interacting with other human beings.  I don’t, however, have very many people whom I would call on a Friday night to go have a beer with me.

When I started my college career, I moved away from home.  (It was only about an hour away, but it was still farther away from home than I’d ever been.)  I didn’t know anyone, and my sole purpose was to study, make good grades, and get a decent-paying job.  I devoted the bulk of my time to school and studying.  The institution I attended, though, was not your typical college campus with dorms, student organizations, etc.  It was a tech school that I attended for about five hours, three days a week, and went home after every class.  I didn’t expect to have the typical “college experience” while I was there, but surprisingly enough, I did.

While I was there, I ended up meeting someone who would become the person I’d refer to as my “best friend.”  We were an unlikely pair.  I was fairly serious, studied hard, and behaved myself.  My friend, on the other hand, was a party animal, somewhat rough around the edges, and felt that life was far too short to take seriously.

Months later, I found myself moving into a rented house with him, his girlfriend at the time, and another friend of theirs.  The couple of years that followed were some of the wildest times of my life.  There was rarely a weekend that we spent sober.  It was a party almost all the time, and there was never a dull moment.  Antics ranged from streaking down the street naked in the middle of the night, to having Airsoft tournaments in the house.

Life was good.  I was having that young, “wild” experience I’d always heard people describe when talking about their college years.  I also had a group of friends to call my own.  Although I was picked on regularly, and was probably the “easiest target” of the group, I was part of something.  After being a loner for most of my life up to that point, it was the best feeling in the world.

This person and I have been close since that time.  Even though we’ve gotten older, we always said that if we could go back and relive a day from our college years, we would.

It’s a well-known fact, though, that as time goes on, things change and people change.  I’m not the same person I was five years ago.  Chances are, I won’t be the same person five years from now.

This person now lives almost an hour away from where I live.  He has new friends now, and surprisingly enough, so do I.  Although we’ve gradually started to grow apart, we’ve kept in touch and remained close.

There have been some recent happenings, though, that have caused us to go our separate ways.  The details aren’t important.  I also can’t really honestly say that I didn’t see it coming.

I’m not going to lie.  It was kinda painful.  Even though we’d grown somewhat apart over the last few years, letting go of a friend is never a fun thing to do.  There have been some people who have said things like, “I don’t know why you’re friends with this person.  He’s nothing like you.”  I’m well-aware of this.  It never mattered, though.  If someone is truly your friend, you love them in spite of your differences, overlook any shortcomings they may have (everyone has them), and put your disagreements behind you.

At this point, though, a season in my life has come to an end, just like the passage says.  It was my turn to share, grow, and learn as a person… and I did.  This person helped bring me out of my shell, and gave me more confidence in myself.  He taught me not to take life so seriously all the time.  He taught me that friends and family are far more important than school or a 9-5 job.  He taught me that it doesn’t really matter what other people think of you, as long as you be yourself.  He gave me the “prodding” I needed to go out and find a girlfriend, which led to me meeting my wife.  He also gave me a lot of fond memories that I will always have.

As the old cliché goes, “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”  I intend to do exactly that.  I’m not a college kid anymore, and I have an incredible life ahead of me.  I have a beautiful, amazing wife.  I have the best family anyone could ask for.  I have a nice house and a good job that I enjoy.  I also have a couple of close friends who have come behind to fill in the gaps.  If you ask me, I’d say I have everything that anyone could ever want.

I’m not angry.  I wish my old friend all the happiness in the world.  While it sometimes sucks when things turn out this way, there’s usually a reason behind it.  Over the last week or so, I’ve begun to clearly see the reasoning behind it, and realized that God does indeed work in mysterious ways.

If he calls me up one of these days needing help with something, would I help him?  Sure.  If he wanted to talk and catch up on old times, or reminisce about our younger years, would I?  Sure.  Will things ever be the same again?  No.  Nor should they be.  Learning and growing up is a normal, healthy part of life.  And the next stage of my life is going to be awesome.

This concludes my depressing rant for today, but it did make me feel better.  It was more for my benefit than anyone else’s.  We now return you to your regularly-scheduled Easter weekend.  I hope everyone enjoys it, and I promise that the next post won’t be such a downer.