When you like to stay in your warm bed as long as possible on cold winter mornings, sometimes you have to think quickly when you want to get to work on time.

Yesterday was my first day in my new position.  I absolutely love it.  It’s a totally different environment than I’m used to working in.  Everyone is so relaxed.  I’m not in a phone queue anymore, so it’s possible to actually work on a project from start to finish without being interrupted by phone calls 20 times.  (And if someone calls, it’s actually someone who wants to talk to me specifically.)  My boss is one of the most laid-back, easy-to-get-along-with people I’ve ever met.  They hand out overtime like candy if you want the extra hours/cash.  I can go to lunch whenever I want.  I can work from home if needed.  They pay for part of my internet and phone bills.  I have a garage to park in.  On top of all of this, I have some awesome (and very smart) co-workers, and have the opportunity to learn a hell of a lot.  I’d say I’ve got it made, and I’m incredibly grateful they gave me the job.

Another perk is free soda.  (We’ve always had this.)  It’s pretty awesome, although it caused me to gain a great deal of weight fairly quickly after I first started.  They used to put out stacks of styrofoam cups for us to use as well, but I guess people were wasting them.  One day, an email went out to everyone, informing us that they would be providing each of us with a plastic cup to use, and would stop buying the styrofoam cups.  This was supposed to help our bottom line.  Fine with me.  You can’t really complain about “free.”

Although I wash my cup out regularly at work, I bring it home every so often to run it through the dishwasher.  Yesterday was one of those days, so when I headed out this morning, I had to remember to grab my cup.  It’s a good thing I did too.

I’m not always the smartest individual.  It started snowing last night, and we accumulated about three inches or so overnight.  It didn’t even dawn on me that I would have to clean my truck off in the morning.  Completely oblivious to the white blanket outside, I walked out the door at my usual time this morning and stopped dead in my tracks next to my vehicle, which I found buried under a pile of snow.

I sold my car at the end of last summer.  Guess what I left in the trunk of it.

My ice scraper.

Throwing my stuff in the passenger seat, I frantically peeled the wipers off the windshield, started wiping the snow off with my hands (which instantly became painfully cold), and doing the best I could to clear the ice.  After all, being late is not exactly a good way to show your appreciation for a new job.

My windshield had a solid sheet of ice on it, which I glared at in disgust.  I had finally managed to clear off enough snow to get my washer fluid squirter thingies to work.  Although effective on frost, the washer fluid did a poor job of clearing the ice.

I had finally semi-cleared a six-inch hole in the middle of the windshield.  Enough for me to lean over and see directly in front of me, although I had no peripheral view whatsoever.

Good enough for me.

I put ‘er in reverse, backed out, and started slowly out of our apartment complex.  After a sweating it around a few turns, and avoiding several people out walking their dogs, I finally admitted defeat and pulled over to the side.  There was no way I was getting to work this way.

Mumbling obscenities to myself, I looked around frantically for a solution.  After a moment, I began eyeing my plastic drink cup.  Gathering every ounce of redneck within me, I unscrewed the plastic lid, got out, laid it flat against my windshield, and began scraping away.  It worked like a charm.   In a matter of about ten seconds or so, I was happily on my way.  Made it to work with several minutes to spare, in spite of the difficulties (as well as the moronic winter drivers).

Hey… whatever works, right?